This is my personal blog, and I write whatever I want.

2025 was a year in which I had many doubts about what to do with my life.

Game development started as a curiosity, but little by little, it became something I stopped enjoying because I began to see it as a potential source of income.

Being honest with myself

I like to start more projects than I can handle because that way, I can choose which ones I actually want to carry forward.

Naturally, this means most of these projects end up abandoned since I can’t manage them all.

The good thing is that I learn something from each one, regardless of the state they were in when I moved on. Once I feel they’ve taught me what they had to, I let them go.

I’m not saying this is good. I’ve used Unity, Unreal, Construct, Game Maker. I can export to HTML5, Android, Windows. I know how to optimize a project down to the details. I’m an eternal student who only makes prototypes.

For years, almost all my projects have ultimately had a profit motive.

All my prototypes were just means to learn a bit more so that I can then start a profitable business.

A YouTube channel, a personal blog, a well-populated Twitter feed — all were ways to gain followers that could eventually help me attract clients.

A LinkedIn profile showing what I do is just another way to get a job.

Introspection

Game development started as a curiosity, but little by little, it became something I stopped enjoying because I began to see it as a potential source of income.

I even stopped creating and looked for excuses to justify to myself why I didn’t want to release a project. I never wanted to be “successful” in gamedev — publishing something appealing, doing market research, running a marketing campaign. I never asked myself if I truly wanted to live off game development.

By measuring success with econometric variables, I stopped enjoying creating what I wanted to create.

I fell into the trap of thinking everything has to be efficient, profitable. Maybe it was anxiety, wanting to secure a comfortable financial future — but when you’re not in a life-or-death (financial) situation, there are other priorities that should guide our lives.

Now, with AI, everything can be automated — programming, sound effects, music, textures, sprites, UI, models, narrative. There’s a tool that can build the product for us.

Costs have dropped dramatically. There’s a unique opportunity in history to create games using AI. It’s a gold mine. You can now do software dropshipping. That is the efficient way to develop games in 2025, but I don’t want to do it because I want to enjoy game development.

But if we think about something in terms of profitability, there’s no room left to enjoy the activity we’ve turned into a business.

I’ve realized I hate hustle culture.

Living to be human

For months I’ve been thinking that all human activity can be divided into a dichotomy between the profitable–selfish on one side and the altruistic–generous on the other.

We need profit to obtain the means to survive. But not everything can be about profit.

We need altruism to be human.

Out of self-respect even — it starts by allowing yourself the time to do something that can’t possibly generate any economic return.

I’m glad God revealed this to me so early in life, and not after decades spent chasing wealth.

The future

That’s why I’m thinking of making game development something I do just for fun again — and nothing more. No metrics, no stats, no youtube, no devblog, no audience retention, no obsessing over how to make a better trailer to get more downloads.

I’m rebuilding my relationship with videogames.

I reconnected my PlayStation 2 and relaxed for a while. I started checking out what’s new in the PS2 scene.

I began learning AthenaEnv by Daniel Santos — a framework for creating PS2 projects — and I think my place in game development might be there.

2025 was a year in which I had many doubts about what to do with my life, but I think that sooner or later I’ll find a guiding purpose that helps me understand why I’m here.